About DahkLohd : I don't have a nose.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (3871)
On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after spending thousands of dollars and several years pursuing a higher education so I could get a high paying job doing something that requires skill and brainpower, I finally got my first job offer after months of searching. I will be cleaning houses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (4139)
On 06/07/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by disappointed (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48228) - you deserved it (3254)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35146) - you deserved it (7394)
On 05/31/2011 at 8:02am - love - by veggiepower11028 -
Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (16873)
On 05/30/2011 at 12:19am - love - by weddingblues (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31726) - you deserved it (16874)
On 05/26/2011 at 5:55am - intimacy - by Motionless (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (5867)
On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (5867)
On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51356) - you deserved it (7809)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33390) - you deserved it (4061)
On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you deserved it (7010)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm - love - by TheNerd (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24537) - you deserved it (8778)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37199) - you deserved it (2375)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:14pm - love - by sexyredhead - United States
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (3413)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6371) - you deserved it (35914)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
