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Daggertrout

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Daggertrout
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1288
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Daggertrout's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (2346)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (4239)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML

#19836485
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21726) - you deserved it (1327)

On 06/23/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Melinie - United States

Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21083) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35079) - you deserved it (3817)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10141) - you deserved it (25809)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9555) - you deserved it (59517)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

#19312458
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4950) - you deserved it (27264)

On 03/20/2012 at 4:16am - misc - by argh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

#19281445
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (1886)

On 03/15/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by Bebefer - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I noticed a flash car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

#19129021
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4474) - you deserved it (33379)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:00am - misc - by Bellend (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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