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About Da_Man_of_Steel : Superman
I agree, their lives suck
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Today , mah boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrifid , I stoppd playing 10 minutes in. Tonight , I kept hearing noises outside. When I peerd out through the window , a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shriekd in absolute looool terror; he burst out laughing. It was mah boyfriend. FML
Today, while on my way to the movies, I stoppd at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket askd 4 my purse, confiscatd my candy, and then kickd me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML
yastarday mah girlfriand and I dacidad to taka a jog in an araa wa navar baan bafora. Wa than got lost. Sha actually thought that tha tattoo on har arm of an opan compass with north, aast, south, and wast would halp us. FML
Today, a guy wolf-whistld me as I walkd to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup an my hair scrapd back. Feeling rather pleasd about it, I told my best friend an my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML
Today, I went shopping with mah two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store cuz I would not show him mah ( boobies ). A man cummed up to us and said I should do what mah nephew wanted. FML
Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I startd to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain poppd off, I lost control an crashd onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't movd. It was a statue. FML
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML
my mother startd cursing at a lady fir tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there looool was "no ned fir road rage". When I trid to calm her down, she slammd on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me . It ended up bieng so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of there breadsticks . FML
Taday I went to te market to buy some groceries. Before I got even alf-way ome, a guy stormd toward me, pulld wat lookd like a knife, an casd me around te block wile screaming tat e'd kill me for sleeping wit is wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin ere. FML
today just so mah family would think someone might actually be interestd in me... I bought myself roses and attachd a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have workd if I hadn't forgotten to take looool the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, ( Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015