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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42938) - you deserved it (4389)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML
I agree, your life sucks (12717) - you deserved it (2901)
On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17887) - you deserved it (2923)
On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML
I agree, your life sucks (3572) - you deserved it (13335)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7667) - you deserved it (32392)
On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)
Today, the windows on my car were frozen. I filled up a bucket of hot water, and threw it on the windows. The windows cracked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4326) - you deserved it (50665)
On 02/02/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by Chris - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that shouting 'arsehole' at a speeding car is not a good idea. Two chavs MIGHT just turn around, drive onto the pavement and push you into a bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7188) - you deserved it (16422)
On 01/28/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by Daivv (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17057) - you deserved it (2690)
On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16063) - you deserved it (3468)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6211) - you deserved it (65953)
On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5363) - you deserved it (21003)
On 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by muffincakess - Sent from mobile version
Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (4860)
On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (3949)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4669) - you deserved it (46204)
On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (114321)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
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