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DTA_FreedomMan's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23521) - you deserved it (3758)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:39am - animals - by Patrick - United States (Louisiana)

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39693) - you deserved it (4333)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML


I agree, your life sucks (61356) - you deserved it (11486)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20432) - you deserved it (39484)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML


I agree, your life sucks (29591) - you deserved it (3070)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

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