CustardAndPie

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CustardAndPie

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 January 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2318
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About CustardAndPie : I like apple pie and custard, Doctor Who and Sherlock Holmes, and I only made an account on this site to comment on a particularly idiotic FML.
Now that I have the account I have no idea what to do with it. It will probably end up being about as useful to me as my Twitter account.

CustardAndPie's page activity

Visits<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 5:27pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 2:27pm<b>izanagi</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Triplehinge</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 11:37pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 7:55am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:47am<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Draxanoth</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:50pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:33am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 1:36pm<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 5:56pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 2:27pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 3:39pm<b>princessEll</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:41am<b>Rumbelle</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 9:09pm<b>Synistiel</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 11:13pm<b>Psycho_Babydoll</b> - the 10/11/2012 at 10:53pm

Fucked!<b>izanagi</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:18am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:55pm

CustardAndPie's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of CustardAndPie's badges

CustardAndPie's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

by thankskimi / 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

by TuralSucks / 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

by tamponmayhem / 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy