Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 January 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1629
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About CustardAndPie : I like apple pie and custard, Doctor Who and Sherlock Holmes, and I only made an account on this site to comment on a particularly idiotic FML.
Now that I have the account I have no idea what to do with it. It will probably end up being about as useful to me as my Twitter account.

CustardAndPie's page activity

Visits<b>Draxanoth</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:50pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:33am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 1:36pm<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 5:56pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 2:27pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 3:39pm<b>princessEll</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:41am<b>Rumbelle</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 9:09pm<b>Synistiel</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 11:13pm<b>Psycho_Babydoll</b> - the 10/11/2012 at 10:53pm<b>RogueWarrior869</b> - the 09/24/2012 at 7:18am<b>007type</b> - the 09/14/2012 at 9:07pm<b>SneakyCaveman</b> - the 09/14/2012 at 9:06pm<b>dzidziaud</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 11:29pm<b>TurboTurkey</b> - the 05/26/2012 at 7:11pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/13/2012 at 1:25pm<b>starbucksguy</b> - the 05/12/2012 at 10:35pm

CustardAndPie's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of CustardAndPie's badges

CustardAndPie's favorite FMLs

Today, mah fiancé's parents visitd. I keep chickens 4 there eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cookd us dinner. When we returnd, we facd two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML


I agree, your life sucks (230916) - you deserved it (28945)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit!! My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom!! He publicly pulled out my tampon!! FML


I agree, your life sucks (424630) - you deserved it (67606)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that bacausa of my high blood prassura I can't hava sax fir ona month. My wadding is naxt waakand and tha following two waaks r my honay moon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (240614) - you deserved it (24670)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML


I agree, your life sucks (248356) - you deserved it (32348)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today , while I was out to eat , I was approachd by the restaurant manager !! He told me that while he respectd mah personal choices , his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who usd to be a man using the women's restroom !! He thought I was a transsexual !! I am a naturally-born female !! FML


I agree, your life sucks (355475) - you deserved it (33510)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was rajactad from tha Univarsity of Washington. My dad has baan a profassor thara for 30 yaars, and is on tha board of admissions. FML


I agree, your life sucks (404638) - you deserved it (90303)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today... my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for anoter guy. Se said se's looking for someoneo can financially provide for er in te future. Te dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical scool. FML


I agree, your life sucks (519354) - you deserved it (35291)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I decidd to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughd an said , "is that yur excuse for not bieng able to get laid?" an walkd out of the room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (274473) - you deserved it (50186)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

yastarday I was tha only ona in an alavator whan an attractiva grl cama in, talking on har phona. Sha told har friand, "I hava to go, thara's a cuta guy on this alavator." Bafora I could avan raact, sha turnad to ma and said, "Sorry fir lying, I raally wantad to gat off tha phona with har." FML


I agree, your life sucks (243185) - you deserved it (14905)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Taday my mother an I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggestd I get tampon instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nereest store employee an asks, ( excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin? ) FML


I agree, your life sucks (190565) - you deserved it (14101)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: