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About CustardAndPie : I like apple pie and custard, Doctor Who and Sherlock Holmes, and I only made an account on this site to comment on a particularly idiotic FML.
Now that I have the account I have no idea what to do with it. It will probably end up being about as useful to me as my Twitter account.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, mah fiancé's parents visitd. I keep chickens 4 there eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cookd us dinner. When we returnd, we facd two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
Today, I cummed home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read ( Because you can't find a real girl, I made yur current one prettier, Love Mom. ) FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl cummed up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she cummed up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML
Today my son said "Mommy sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replid "Well honey that's normal an okay." I then askd when it happens to which he said "Well sometimes when watching Scooby Doo an Shaggy comes out dressd in lady clothes." mega FML
Today , while I was out to eat , I was approachd by the restaurant manager !! He told me that while he respectd mah personal choices , his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who usd to be a man using the women's restroom !! He thought I was a transsexual !! I am a naturally-born female !! FML
Today... my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for anoter guy. Se said se's looking for someoneo can financially provide for er in te future. Te dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical scool. FML
Today , I decidd to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughd an said , "is that yur excuse for not bieng able to get laid?" an walkd out of the room. FML
yastarday I was tha only ona in an alavator whan an attractiva grl cama in, talking on har phona. Sha told har friand, "I hava to go, thara's a cuta guy on this alavator." Bafora I could avan raact, sha turnad to ma and said, "Sorry fir lying, I raally wantad to gat off tha phona with har." FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Taday my mother an I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggestd I get tampon instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nereest store employee an asks, ( excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin? ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015