CustardAndPie

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CustardAndPie

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 January 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2309
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About CustardAndPie : I like apple pie and custard, Doctor Who and Sherlock Holmes, and I only made an account on this site to comment on a particularly idiotic FML.
Now that I have the account I have no idea what to do with it. It will probably end up being about as useful to me as my Twitter account.

CustardAndPie's page activity

Visits<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 5:27pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 2:27pm<b>izanagi</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Triplehinge</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 11:37pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 7:55am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:47am<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Draxanoth</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:50pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:33am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 1:36pm<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 5:56pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 2:27pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 3:39pm<b>princessEll</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:41am<b>Rumbelle</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 9:09pm<b>Synistiel</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 11:13pm<b>Psycho_Babydoll</b> - the 10/11/2012 at 10:53pm

Fucked!<b>izanagi</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:18am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:55pm

CustardAndPie's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of CustardAndPie's badges

CustardAndPie's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

by Jessi / 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

by oh lord / 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML

by CA19oo / 05/27/2012 at 9:13am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

by jingle / 05/25/2012 at 7:18am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

by Fire0fisis / 05/23/2012 at 5:38am / Hong Kong / Intimacy

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

by medosin / 05/21/2012 at 8:10am / Austria / Health

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

by morethanredhands / 05/21/2012 at 1:56am / Intimacy

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

by sick and awkward / 05/20/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

by iris / 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML

by quick blow / 05/15/2012 at 10:53pm / United States / Intimacy