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CultureChic's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health
by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
by birdfoooo / 11/29/2011 at 10:26am / United States / Transportation
by robincakes94 / 11/29/2011 at 7:42am / United States / Work
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
by copshop / 11/10/2011 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm / Romania (Mures) / Work
by Luke / 11/07/2011 at 9:53am / United States (Virginia) / Money
- Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not… Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door,… Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job…