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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17460) - you deserved it (1304)
On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24469) - you deserved it (1680)
On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5232) - you deserved it (31805)
Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (2562)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (5041)
On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)
Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24689) - you deserved it (3342)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14772) - you deserved it (1483)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:52am - animals - by JukeboxValkyrie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (1612)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18313) - you deserved it (2003)
On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (1911)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23817) - you deserved it (1794)
On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25670) - you deserved it (3778)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10933) - you deserved it (43668)
On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26865) - you deserved it (6970)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (15815)
On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Sunday 12 May 2013
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