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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5730) - you deserved it (730)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6154) - you deserved it (1421)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5630) - you deserved it (2568)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States
Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2010) - you deserved it (6582)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5460) - you deserved it (1614)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10595) - you deserved it (618) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1910) - you deserved it (6735)
On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3282) - you deserved it (10661)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1771) - you deserved it (5369)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1871) - you deserved it (7580)
On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States
Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6554) - you deserved it (775)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by Gitana (woman) - Spain (Navarra)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21419) - you deserved it (1697)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7040) - you deserved it (834)
On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6123) - you deserved it (796)
On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6834) - you deserved it (4792)
On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)
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