Cthulu

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Cthulu

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1938
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cthulu's page activity

Visits<b>Anti_Sora</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:37pm<b>maliaxox</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 2:01am<b>looking4funny</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:58pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:09am<b>facelick</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:36pm<b>hai111</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:18am<b>Valcannos</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 9:10pm<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:37pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 11:25pm<b>54MU31</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:35pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:05am<b>gamergirl18155</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:51pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 7:45pm<b>Ajkrumen</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:46pm<b>kkt1209</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 6:56pm<b>azelk</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:30pm<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:27am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 7:31am

Fucked!<b>looking4funny</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:58am

Cthulu's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Cthulu's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making schnitzel at our kitchen so I had to get rid of all the oil. So I decided it would be best to put the hot pan on our porch so the oil would cool down and then I could get rid of it. Unfortunately the ground is sealed with tar, so the tar melted and now the pan is stuck to the ground. FML

by peterpan / 02/23/2010 at 7:54am / Germany (Hessen) / Health

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

by OMGraven / 02/19/2010 at 3:24am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

by Sophie / 02/17/2010 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

by batter--up / 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

by snickerdoodles / 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

by snickerdoodles / 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I went for a job interview I scheduled 3 weeks ago. I spent $200 on a new suit to really impress them and practised like crazy every imaginable question they could ask. They already had filled the position 2 weeks ago and forgot to inform me. FML

by kristine29 / 02/03/2010 at 11:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

by scubai / 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML

by SheWentCrayola / 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say "Will you marry me" a bird shat on my head. FML

by -bird-poop- / 10/10/2009 at 8:52am / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Love

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

by Poowee / 09/18/2009 at 12:29am / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

by FlipYoC / 09/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

by RitaDahhlinnnng / 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2009 at 1:11am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

by ttsutaoka / 07/11/2009 at 3:43am / United States (California) / Transportation