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Crunch_Nugget

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Crunch_Nugget
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 683
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Crunch_Nugget's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

#6281731
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28807) - you deserved it (8095)

On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a new job. I'm 26 and I left an amazing job to move back to be around my family. I have no choice but to take this job. I will be placing my finger in a dead turkeys ass, cutting open its stomach, and ripping out its guts. 15 per minute. FML

#6192023
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23859) - you deserved it (8915)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 2 years are getting married. The worst part is that they've been dating for 2 years in secret, and just came out about it now. I've been telling her for 2 years how much I like him, and she's encouraged me the whole time. FML

#6140991
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43848) - you deserved it (3206)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:12pm - love - by Uknowwh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

#5863047
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31216) - you deserved it (1876)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:13am - animals - by Ethan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the military base to save $10 on a haircut. On the way out the gate, the glare of the sun blocked my view of a star barrier. Instead of saving $10 on a haircut I now owe a $500 deductible to fix my car. FML

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML

#5640097
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43515) - you deserved it (8301)

On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

#5541455
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36327) - you deserved it (4570)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

#5441571
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (11302)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

#5124019
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24011) - you deserved it (66007)

On 09/08/2009 at 8:29am - love - by nitwit (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

#5072563
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34436) - you deserved it (2585)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:03am - health - by DrunkenValor (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML

#5052267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6721) - you deserved it (36668)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:06am - animals - by spideypowers (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh... I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

#4589153
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16737) - you deserved it (40059)

On 08/17/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by tailgaterhater - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML

#4518775
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37077) - you deserved it (2735)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Sadasian (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

#4428551
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8234) - you deserved it (65341)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by hitandrun (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

#4350390
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19640) - you deserved it (47287)

On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)



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