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CrookedCook

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CrookedCook

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 10 October 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CrookedCook : Long time FML looker, recent commentator.

CrookedCook's page activity

Visits<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:46am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:11pm<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 9:06pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:02pm<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:31am<b>Chimera0</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:49pm<b>smurfnipples44</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 3:30pm<b>auro7</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 1:31am<b>ItsMeDiegoG</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 8:54pm<b>Chris455</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:26pm<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 9:24pm<b>hahahFail2u</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 8:07pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:29am<b>sammyjo06</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 7:30pm<b>bellenblaasbaas</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 5:35pm<b>XTheDesertSongX</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 2:14am<b>Gowackie</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 8:04pm<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 9:56pm

CrookedCook's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of CrookedCook's badges

CrookedCook's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38085) - you deserved it (7559)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48372) - you deserved it (23839)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49236) - you deserved it (2807)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

#20694089
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44842) - you deserved it (8985)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63572) - you deserved it (13991)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56984) - you deserved it (16031)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46074) - you deserved it (3227)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43823) - you deserved it (4243)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45404) - you deserved it (5932) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49237) - you deserved it (13925)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26335) - you deserved it (2953)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (7188)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (7188)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38591) - you deserved it (7953)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States



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