About CrookedCook : Long time FML looker, recent commentator.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40420) - you deserved it (7839)
On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)
Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51774) - you deserved it (10604)
On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51073) - you deserved it (3437)
On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (2792)
On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37920) - you deserved it (3032)
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37616) - you deserved it (4150) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40301) - you deserved it (11361)
On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada
Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (1836)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18648) - you deserved it (6522)
On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18648) - you deserved it (6522)
On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (6013)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7535) - you deserved it (28222)
On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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