About Crlnprz : Im 16 years old currently living in Indiana, born in California.
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Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32071) - you deserved it (8610)
On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (3013)
On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States
Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16912) - you deserved it (1085)
On 10/19/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by NoorFML - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6978) - you deserved it (32014)
On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13300) - you deserved it (1125)
On 10/09/2012 at 12:07pm - work - by yolo is for shitheads - United States
Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19181) - you deserved it (1201)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13519) - you deserved it (4163)
On 08/25/2012 at 9:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12660) - you deserved it (4846)
On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (23847) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (22973)
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26587) - you deserved it (2965)
On 10/23/2011 at 8:38am - love - by mrs.nerd - United States
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (3571)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (13021)
On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23573) - you deserved it (4339)
On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States
I agree, your life sucks (26798) - you deserved it (3816)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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