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Courtney8105

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Courtney8105

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  • Number of visits : 308
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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Courtney8105's favorite FMLs

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (3499)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18359) - you deserved it (2540)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20567) - you deserved it (2995)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16409) - you deserved it (26984)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (2292)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18487) - you deserved it (3599)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (3924) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (4270)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

#20090283
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18792) - you deserved it (2380)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

#20086279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24636) - you deserved it (1687)

On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24924) - you deserved it (2553)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33395) - you deserved it (2065)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

#19719938
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23510) - you deserved it (4801)

On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (6948)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)



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