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Courtney8105

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Courtney8105

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  • Number of visits : 202
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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Courtney8105's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35805) - you deserved it (6453)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33775) - you deserved it (7436)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64054) - you deserved it (16297)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (5319)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47376) - you deserved it (10930)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30444) - you deserved it (2363)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

#20549296
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43329) - you deserved it (4443)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (5525)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40758) - you deserved it (15330)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36043) - you deserved it (2763)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (4868)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33325) - you deserved it (7543)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (40180)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11164) - you deserved it (29270)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)



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