About Contravene : I'm not really one for self-description. If you really want to know anything about me, just ask. I'm an open book; You just have to read it.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37781) - you deserved it (9678)
On 02/27/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by newlywed - United States (Utah)
Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38113) - you deserved it (14898)
On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (12791)
On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17804) - you deserved it (36498)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39362) - you deserved it (14202)
On 02/20/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Infected (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (7605)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6363) - you deserved it (35825)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44748) - you deserved it (5780)
On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59848) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (4769)
On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38034) - you deserved it (4376)
On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13316) - you deserved it (32016) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (2620)
On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34366) - you deserved it (6992)
On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (49769)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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