Contravene

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Contravene

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 August 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2016
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Contravene : I'm not really one for self-description. If you really want to know anything about me, just ask.

Contravene's page activity

Visits<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:53pm<b>thaliah</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 11:55am<b>Kalipczo</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 5:27am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 3:58pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:46pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 2:47pm<b>iLynz</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:20pm<b>capslockisgood</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 12:52am<b>JinxedPixie</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 1:19pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 1:25pm<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 2:44pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 9:26pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:49pm<b>hulioverede</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:10pm<b>mattdlv</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 12:23am<b>XistingPrince</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 10:39pm<b>TomPusslicker</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 7:53am

Contravene's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Contravene's badges

Contravene's favorite FMLs

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

by newlywed / 02/27/2011 at 12:18am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

by greenchan / 02/25/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

by Animal / 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

by Infected / 02/20/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

by Anon. / 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

by Embarrassed / 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm / Intimacy

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

by Scaredwitless / 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 9:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids