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Contravene

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Contravene
  • Town/Country : Patuxent River, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 August 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 973
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Contravene : I'm not really one for self-description. If you really want to know anything about me, just ask. I'm an open book; You just have to read it.

Contravene's last visitors

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Contravene's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Contravene's favorite FMLs

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

#15133415
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38608) - you deserved it (9755)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by newlywed - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43540) - you deserved it (18472)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

#15102397
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29033) - you deserved it (14947)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20193) - you deserved it (40204)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

#15051714
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (14389)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Infected (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44124) - you deserved it (8911)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7417) - you deserved it (44631)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

#14881975
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49291) - you deserved it (6884)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67079) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35285) - you deserved it (5905)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42055) - you deserved it (5198)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14479) - you deserved it (38237) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26771) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35242) - you deserved it (7057)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)



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