Contravene

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Contravene

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 August 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2134
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Contravene : I'm not really one for self-description. If you really want to know anything about me, just ask.

Contravene's page activity

Visits<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:53pm<b>thaliah</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 11:55am<b>Kalipczo</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 5:27am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 3:58pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:46pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 2:47pm<b>iLynz</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:20pm<b>capslockisgood</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 12:52am<b>JinxedPixie</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 1:19pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 1:25pm<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 2:44pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 9:26pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:49pm<b>hulioverede</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:10pm<b>mattdlv</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 12:23am<b>XistingPrince</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 10:39pm<b>TomPusslicker</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 7:53am

Contravene's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Contravene's badges

Contravene's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

by gayboii / 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

by anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

by Juliet / 03/10/2011 at 7:36am / Miscellaneous

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

by Tom / 03/10/2011 at 6:09am / Animals

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

by drebel / 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

by sosad / 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm / Love

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

by thenotsomanlyman / 03/07/2011 at 11:17am / United States / Animals

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

by tinygirl / 03/07/2011 at 1:16am / Health

Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML

by pinchy / 03/06/2011 at 10:00pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

by nick / 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 6:43am / France (Alsace) / Love

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

by insomnitude / 03/05/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous