Commander223

Search for a member

Commander223

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 July 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1256
  • Number of comments : 164
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About Commander223 : "If you ain't drunk you ain't dis'!"

-Pimp daddy

A.K.A the hooker that hit my friend with a cane.

Commander223's page activity

Visits<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 12:11am<b>Allornone</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 5:30am<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 11:32am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 2:50pm<b>KingJiggleMuffin</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 12:17am<b>M3DO</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 7:20pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 3:42pm<b>Shadow1368</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 11:10am<b>boomHEADSHOTllll</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:44am<b>Saso</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:14pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:57am<b>sleepy_fires</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:03am<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:08pm<b>tgodluke</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 9:46pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:26pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 8:47pm<b>Donnellando</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:07am<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:14am

Commander223's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Commander223's badges

Commander223's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

by Sarah / 08/30/2012 at 8:58am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 4:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

by toothpaste / 01/19/2012 at 7:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

by anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 7:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

by ambled / 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

by dan / 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous