Collisionn

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Offline (the 10/21/2014 at 4:25am)

Collisionn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5483
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Collisionn's page activity

Visits<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 12:33pm<b>Here4theshow</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 11:56pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 4:51am<b>Dany93</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 3:08am<b>Tari</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 2:56am<b>abbeyXD</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 11:40pm<b>XxQueenofPuppets</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 8:46pm<b>vina88</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 8:24pm<b>ride2hip93</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:14pm<b>spencer4</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 6:55pm<b>superrocket19</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 6:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 5:01pm<b>Angio113</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 4:59pm<b>TheShyCreeper</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 4:37pm<b>PyroTim</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 4:28pm<b>deerhugger</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:38pm<b>Schmekey</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:18pm<b>zobo1014</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:09pm

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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Collisionn's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

by lez probs / 05/18/2013 at 8:54am / United States / Intimacy

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm / United States / Kids

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 8:23pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML

by you're just creepy. / 12/11/2012 at 3:39am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

by coolguy / 11/06/2012 at 12:15am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

by Nickki / 10/14/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Kids

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

by lalalalainie / 10/13/2012 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

by Jex / 10/06/2012 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love