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CloudKyon's FML badges
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CloudKyon's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML
by Having a pretty sister sucks. / 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by DreamStatic / 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 9:25am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…