I am happily morbid. With a memory that holds countless opinions, philosophies and other earthly informations whilst deleting anything that could turn out helpful in a time critical situation. Also an un-healthy obsession with highland cattle. & randomising the beginning of this "about me" so that there's something new to look at.
Killing time with Cloud Envy:
-Try telling a fanatic they've got it wrong.
-Visit a library and alter the endings of books.
-Verbally assault a blind man from different angles.
-Arrive at your place of work/study wearing scuba gear.
-Re-order the dvd charts to your preference.
-Upset a civil servant.
-Count how many sheets there are in a roll of kitchen towels.
"Never trust a man that's been left alone in a room with a tea cozy and hasn't tried it on."
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16878) - you totally deserved it (1477)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15765) - you totally deserved it (1913)
On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9813) - you totally deserved it (6428)
On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6526) - you totally deserved it (18470)
On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you totally deserved it (3978)
On 11/12/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by angrymadman3542342 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you totally deserved it (1381)
On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7608) - you totally deserved it (32658)
On 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by R (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36674) - you totally deserved it (3424)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2072) - you totally deserved it (70970)
On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6490) - you totally deserved it (30648)
On 10/12/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by bubbles (woman) - United States
Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3070) - you totally deserved it (62915)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got fired from my job for not "interacting with customers." That's understandable. The thing is, my job didn't actually include any customer interaction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22390) - you totally deserved it (1153)
On 09/28/2009 at 10:57pm - work - by justfired (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5152) - you totally deserved it (27575)
On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you totally deserved it (1029)
On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you totally deserved it (3646)
On 07/31/2009 at 12:02pm - love - by WiltedFlower (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
