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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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CloudEnvy

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CloudEnvy

About CloudEnvy : As bouncy as a brick. As flammable as a stone. As round as a square. As complex as a bad joke. As imprisoned as a free man. As cursed as a damaged mind.

____________________

Pendatik's striking from the shadowy alcoves.
FFML_314 probably still doesn't know what a DVD is.
Zebrasofa13 & Showmehowtolive are the vindicating, liberating, saviours of my soul.
____________________

-Now I try again to find the thing that was my mind. Behold the undersigned, who said I've lost my mind.

CloudEnvy's last visitors

Shaamelilmc94Zebrasofa13pendatikiAmScrubsagostina_mcslim_ladyTheIslandlolyeahthatsmeShowmehowtoliveAlastrina

CloudEnvy's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Fingerprints everywhere

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of CloudEnvy's badges

CloudEnvy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (7719) - you deserved it (1132)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (20391) - you deserved it (1294)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

#18180694 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (7664) - you deserved it (1010)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (9962) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I was making hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (6319) - you deserved it (18272)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

#17521930 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (9203) - you deserved it (1679)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (2813)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (12079) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (3555)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my new FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (8720) - you deserved it (18113) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally got the courage to say to my boyfriend that I feel invisible and ignored. To this he said 'You aren't invisible, I mean, look at that nose.' FML

#15365098 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (28781) - you deserved it (5519)

On 03/18/2011 at 8:36am - love - by anon -

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

#15209261 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (20668) - you deserved it (1577)

On 03/05/2011 at 7:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

#14967692 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (26526) - you deserved it (2042)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Roxas (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

#14939182 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (6106) - you deserved it (34551)

On 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by shredded - United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames)

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

#13823119 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (19532) - you deserved it (9314)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)