Cleu

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Offline (the 09/10/2014 at 7:40am)

Cleu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2418
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Cleu's page activity

Visits<b>coppersmith</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:51pm<b>LittleBastard</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 5:39pm<b>Wyaru</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 2:36pm<b>wickedalwayswins</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 10:21pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 12:55pm<b>randompizzaguy</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 12:52pm<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 1:54pm<b>swetha590</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 3:53am<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 7:42pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 11:18am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 2:19pm<b>aLiYaaH</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 3:58pm<b>shadows2010</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 3:44am<b>olpally</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 8:08pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 12:36pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 8:19am<b>kklock83</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 12:18am<b>Axipiter</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 7:02pm

Cleu's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Cleu's badges

Cleu's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

by FirstDaddy / 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

by NextTimeMom'sDriving / 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend started his first day of work with me. I thought it'd be fun, but he's been putting on an obnoxious fake French accent and saying "merde" whenever anything goes wrong. Half the women at the office want his dick, and I'm still as single as ever. FML

by thankssiren / 05/24/2014 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2014 at 6:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

by clueless / 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

by FLIPmcCOOL / 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

by livingamongtheflowers / 05/15/2014 at 1:40am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

by Gone With the Wind / 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous