Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ClassyCommando

Search for a member

ClassyCommando

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1234
  • Number of comments : 632
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ClassyCommando : Name's Joe. I like flowers, sunshine, and long walks through Mordor.

ClassyCommando's page activity

Visits<b>fauxshrimp</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:18pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 8:01pm<b>meganellenishere</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:03pm<b>accidentalsheep</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:00pm<b>radj</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:27am<b>lovingfml</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:29pm<b>AnonymousSpock</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:15am<b>Franniee_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:45pm<b>Aspyr</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 8:15am<b>KingFudd</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:36am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:50pm<b>thewestlund</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 12:58am<b>bigbertha22</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 5:59pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 5:48pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:06am<b>Kkkdawg</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 4:17pm<b>DirtRoad5</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:37am<b>edvin</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 11:42pm

ClassyCommando's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of ClassyCommando's badges

ClassyCommando's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36123) - you deserved it (5628)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7314) - you deserved it (32272)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22646) - you deserved it (2425)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

#20168309
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27499) - you deserved it (1552)

On 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm - kids - by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

#20168119
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17224) - you deserved it (2150)

On 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

#20097224
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21673) - you deserved it (2203)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30938) - you deserved it (4943)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (3180)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

#19444005
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26277) - you deserved it (6173)

On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

#19414845
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9453) - you deserved it (50284)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

#18854508
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39514) - you deserved it (3871) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32754) - you deserved it (5641)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12060) - you deserved it (32054)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

#18680064
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21887) - you deserved it (6767)

On 01/01/2012 at 10:38pm - work - by Scorned Employee (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29457) - you deserved it (7704)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: