About Clarinetrox : Absolutely love this site; check it daily to brighten my day.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13545) - you deserved it (20490)
On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)
Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (3567)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)
Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (3567)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)
Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28005) - you deserved it (1839)
On 12/04/2009 at 1:27am - work - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11887) - you deserved it (30893)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (3307)
On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8524) - you deserved it (61645)
On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21433) - you deserved it (2288)
On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75027) - you deserved it (10604)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75027) - you deserved it (10604)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18275) - you deserved it (21517)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall, when a homeless man came in mumbling to himself. Out of the 7 available urinals, he posted up at the one right beside me. Apparently he didn't get the memo that urinals aren't used to shit in. He talked to me the entire time. About his love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53749) - you deserved it (2704)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:13pm - misc - by blah (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I bought a top with some other things. I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall. I had to use the receipt from the store. I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag. I needed that receipt to get the top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40112) - you deserved it (9909)
On 05/29/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by suckerrrrr (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I screamed when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34480) - you deserved it (8737)
On 05/22/2009 at 11:16am - misc - by Ouch (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I screamed when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34480) - you deserved it (8737)
On 05/22/2009 at 11:16am - misc - by Ouch (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Monday 20 May 2013
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