Clarinetrox

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Offline (the 12/25/2015 at 4:24am)

Clarinetrox

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3818
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About Clarinetrox : Absolutely love this site; check it daily to brighten my day.

Clarinetrox's page activity

Visits<b>shells3173</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:25pm<b>wintertide</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 4:23pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 12:21am<b>StanleyCreasman</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 10:58pm<b>btf420</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:02pm<b>BeccaWella</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 3:04am<b>ksenchick</b> - the 11/03/2012 at 11:19pm<b>wachunga</b> - the 08/23/2012 at 3:35am

Clarinetrox's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Clarinetrox's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

by Aldoch / 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm / Kids

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

by Terri-Lynn / 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

by A-64 / 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

by Tanner / 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

by screaming monkey / 04/04/2012 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead) / Health

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

by minimum wage / 04/02/2012 at 4:38am / Canada / Work

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

by minimum wage / 04/02/2012 at 4:38am / Canada / Work

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML

by ms piggy / 12/15/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Health