Clarinetrox

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Offline (the 12/25/2015 at 4:24am)

Clarinetrox

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3796
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About Clarinetrox : Absolutely love this site; check it daily to brighten my day.

Clarinetrox's page activity

Visits<b>shells3173</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:25pm<b>wintertide</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 4:23pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 12:21am<b>StanleyCreasman</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 10:58pm<b>btf420</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:02pm<b>BeccaWella</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 3:04am<b>ksenchick</b> - the 11/03/2012 at 11:19pm<b>wachunga</b> - the 08/23/2012 at 3:35am

Clarinetrox's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Clarinetrox's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

by fatmom / 04/10/2013 at 9:26am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

by Ihatemyjob / 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall / 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Love

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall / 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Love

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

by Emily / 01/03/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 10:02am / Australia / Kids

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

by dudeyouarefired / 12/20/2012 at 3:16am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

by sy123 / 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

by eminem blows cock / 06/15/2012 at 12:41pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Miscellaneous