Clarinetrox

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Offline (the 12/25/2015 at 4:24am)

Clarinetrox

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3687
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About Clarinetrox : Absolutely love this site; check it daily to brighten my day.

Clarinetrox's page activity

Visits<b>shells3173</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:25pm<b>wintertide</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 4:23pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 12:21am<b>StanleyCreasman</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 10:58pm<b>btf420</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:02pm<b>BeccaWella</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 3:04am<b>ksenchick</b> - the 11/03/2012 at 11:19pm<b>wachunga</b> - the 08/23/2012 at 3:35am

Clarinetrox's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Clarinetrox's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

by brodinn / 04/11/2014 at 9:48am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

by Great / 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a history project back that I worked very hard on. The teacher didn't bother to write any feedback, besides, "Did you even understand the assignment?" on the back. FML

by student101 / 03/25/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

by knobbed / 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Health

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

by rokkstarrrVRV / 12/28/2013 at 3:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML

by please don't back that thing up / 08/09/2013 at 1:00am / United States / Transportation

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

by EpicJman2828 / 06/27/2013 at 12:27am / United States / Animals

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

by shatMyself / 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm / United States / Health

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous