About Clarinetrox : Absolutely love this site; check it daily to brighten my day.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68750) - you deserved it (3075)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41901) - you deserved it (2617)
On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44809) - you deserved it (7228)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34393) - you deserved it (16697)
On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27534) - you deserved it (1891)
On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38821) - you deserved it (3894)
On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33510) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (6997)
On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (3629)
On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42775) - you deserved it (2901)
On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12223) - you deserved it (32631)
Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31445) - you deserved it (3273)
On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18620) - you deserved it (1270)
On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23079) - you deserved it (936)
On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (2878)
Monday 20 May 2013
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