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CitizenSnipz

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CitizenSnipz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2396
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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CitizenSnipz's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

#5154574
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29692) - you deserved it (2073)

On 09/09/2009 at 7:30pm - work - by slashteddy (woman) - United States

Today, I stepped on the MacBook Air I purchased 4 days ago. The screen snapped in two, and I didn't buy insurance because I promised myself I would be "extra careful." $3500 well spent. FML

#5121901
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10602) - you deserved it (61318)

On 09/08/2009 at 2:31am - money - by AyDiosMio42 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML

#4994251
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13617) - you deserved it (5835)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Mdrk783 (man) - United States

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

#4960471
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31135) - you deserved it (2213)

On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (43663)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42877) - you deserved it (11512)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14965) - you deserved it (69909)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

#4330771
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you deserved it (103269)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:27am - misc - by Cowan - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46435) - you deserved it (6753)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

#4238671
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49217) - you deserved it (2049)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by amburrr (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

#3934975
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64530) - you deserved it (4834)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Headphones (man) - United States

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

#3522499
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49315) - you deserved it (7667)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

#3522499
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49315) - you deserved it (7667)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend was on the roof of his house. I climbed the ladder but I am kind of scared of heights so when I got up there I just sat on the edge. The gutter broke and fell down and I fell along with it. My boyfriend said, "I've been trying to tell you to go on a diet". FML

#3413301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34120) - you deserved it (6311)

On 07/01/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by sydsophnova (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

#3364803
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50331) - you deserved it (3076)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong



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