CitizenSnipz

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CitizenSnipz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4731
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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CitizenSnipz's page activity

Visits<b>ebroks</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 5:37am<b>jemmamacdonald11</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 8:54am<b>TheBlackMagister</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:02pm<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:42pm<b>winded</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:19pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 9:59am<b>FuentezFam</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 5:15am<b>red812</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:40pm<b>OspreyEagle</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 5:22pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 10:48pm<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:41am<b>Pop_And_Lock</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:00am<b>TheChickenLord</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:04pm<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:45pm<b>jshakd642</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:51pm<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:36am<b>ShatteredPulse</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:12pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:02am

CitizenSnipz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CitizenSnipz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

by PeanutlyDisabled / 01/08/2010 at 2:23am / France / Kids

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

by garfwebba / 01/02/2010 at 8:17pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

by Laughluv / 01/02/2010 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting ready to go out when I noticed that after several months of annoyance, the faucet stopped dripping. I started to dance around my bathroom when all of a sudden I slipped and hit my head on the sink. The faucet is dripping again. FML

by dripping sink / 12/30/2009 at 11:34am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

by roxyriley / 12/07/2009 at 4:30am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

by HassledAirfarer / 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

by Thanks / 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

by harrypottermuch / 11/26/2009 at 6:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML

by rejectedmidair / 11/13/2009 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired from a job I didn't have. The manager in charge of calling me to tell me if I got the job never called, and never called me back when I left messages. The only time he called me was to fire me for not coming to orientation, which, by the way, he never called to tell me about. FML

by superjesse006 / 10/10/2009 at 3:23am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was fired from a job I didn't have. The manager in charge of calling me to tell me if I got the job never called, and never called me back when I left messages. The only time he called me was to fire me for not coming to orientation, which, by the way, he never called to tell me about. FML

by superjesse006 / 10/10/2009 at 3:23am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML

by jane / 10/09/2009 at 10:04am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

by Lifes_overated / 09/23/2009 at 10:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous