Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CitizenSnipz

Search for a member

CitizenSnipz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2988
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

CitizenSnipz's page activity

Visits<b>yuggi1</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:07pm<b>ell1etheunic0rn</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Tyde</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 4:18pm<b>stephaniewlntwsk</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 10:55pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Tuffmuffin</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:28pm<b>minioncandy</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 3:15pm<b>bmmondi95</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Botmun12</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:33am<b>threer</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:48pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 7:17am<b>Sammy61400</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:13pm<b>hopsinlove17</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:18am<b>sweetkitten69</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 5:27pm<b>joefrazier</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:10pm<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 3:16pm<b>MidnightMadness</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 8:23pm

CitizenSnipz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CitizenSnipz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33673) - you deserved it (2841)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

#7110537
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (5840)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by garfwebba (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

#7096414
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6152) - you deserved it (32045)

On 01/02/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Laughluv (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting ready to go out when I noticed that after several months of annoyance, the faucet stopped dripping. I started to dance around my bathroom when all of a sudden I slipped and hit my head on the sink. The faucet is dripping again. FML

#7034153
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (12552)

On 12/30/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by dripping sink - United States

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20363) - you deserved it (3525)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

#6639706
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38281) - you deserved it (2053)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm - misc - by HassledAirfarer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

#6482495
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9221) - you deserved it (42831)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

#6459565
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14458) - you deserved it (36979)

On 11/26/2009 at 6:50am - misc - by harrypottermuch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML

#6283772
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (6400)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:14am - love - by rejectedmidair (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87722) - you deserved it (14667)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fired from a job I didn't have. The manager in charge of calling me to tell me if I got the job never called, and never called me back when I left messages. The only time he called me was to fire me for not coming to orientation, which, by the way, he never called to tell me about. FML

#5753501
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (2068)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:23am - work - by superjesse006 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was fired from a job I didn't have. The manager in charge of calling me to tell me if I got the job never called, and never called me back when I left messages. The only time he called me was to fire me for not coming to orientation, which, by the way, he never called to tell me about. FML

#5753501
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (2068)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:23am - work - by superjesse006 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML

#5737700
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (9821)

On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

#5425819
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21472) - you deserved it (43912)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48931) - you deserved it (2208)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: