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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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CitizenSnipz

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CitizenSnipz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1434
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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CitizenSnipz's favorite FMLs

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

#14322197 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (4751) - you deserved it (59831)

On 12/24/2010 at 10:12am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML

#14266887 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (9319) - you deserved it (16769)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

#14261370 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (17741) - you deserved it (4695)

On 12/19/2010 at 3:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I sit next to wafting the smell of their vagina towards themselves and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (2472)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (52660) - you deserved it (7603)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

#13837705 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (19609) - you deserved it (3188)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles, when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

#13801861 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (18017) - you deserved it (3121)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:11pm - health - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother keyed my car because I wouldn't invite her into my home and get her a cup of tea, so she could continue screaming that she was going to kill me while I tried to feed my 4 month old daughter. The last time I got her a cup of tea she threw it in my face. FML

#13786594 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (33474) - you deserved it (1971)

On 11/10/2010 at 2:12am - misc - by crazyparents (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (39090) - you deserved it (6694)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (2188)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699 (403)

I agree, your life sucks (48549) - you deserved it (6290)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML

#13652209 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (24416) - you deserved it (3847)

On 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm - health - by DeepTaccer (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

#13636606 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (18627) - you deserved it (8476)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, I spent all day passing out fliers advertising my services as a psychic. I got one call only. The caller wanted to inform me that I had mispelt the word "psychic" on my flier. She was right. FML

#13610871 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (3852) - you deserved it (23932)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

#13588897 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (6969) - you deserved it (45519)

On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)