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Chronis

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Chronis

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  • Number of visits : 338
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Chronis's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31469) - you deserved it (4474)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45064) - you deserved it (7023)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

#18112365
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Katrin - Norway

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (22626)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

#18091969
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13372) - you deserved it (33287)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19216) - you deserved it (32916)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39333) - you deserved it (7096)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48638) - you deserved it (5824)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58158) - you deserved it (7181)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30438) - you deserved it (3812)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes the cheating more understandable if I see how 'hot' she is. FML

#17165263
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60504) - you deserved it (5645)

On 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131946) - you deserved it (7352)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35536) - you deserved it (2367)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10407) - you deserved it (38248)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML

#4787214
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51429) - you deserved it (4235)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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