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ChloroformPanda

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ChloroformPanda
  • Town/Country : Sevierville, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 4528
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ChloroformPanda : They say that we're dreaming too big.
I say that this town is too small.

ChloroformPanda's last visitors

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ChloroformPanda's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ChloroformPanda's badges

ChloroformPanda's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of over 2 years said he wants to get married before he leaves for basic training. Not because he loves me, but because he'll get paid more if he's married. This is the only time he's been excited about marriage. FML

#11383456
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34538) - you deserved it (4314)

On 06/22/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

#11377747
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (4412)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:49am - misc - by Mangler (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46177) - you deserved it (16772)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

#10945520
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43139) - you deserved it (24012)

On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

#10775711
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (4979)

On 05/26/2010 at 11:54am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

#10713367
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18605) - you deserved it (2234)

On 05/23/2010 at 2:02pm - kids - by rkl2010 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a restaurant with a few other couples, and my boyfriend started to rant on how "all the hot chicks are dumb." Apparently, I'm either ugly or stupid. FML

#10017161
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25001) - you deserved it (4388)

On 04/20/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by uglyorstupid (woman) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

#9180721
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7876) - you deserved it (31596)

On 03/18/2010 at 4:21am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30140) - you deserved it (3393)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34945) - you deserved it (5524)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17079) - you deserved it (2743)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18296) - you deserved it (18475)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

#8581671
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4731) - you deserved it (58203)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (4986)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (7173)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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