About Chloroformpanda
They say that we're dreaming too big. I say that this town is too small.
Chloroformpanda - Followers
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Chloroformpanda's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Mobility

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  • I NEED to know!

    You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Profile completed

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  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 favorites

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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    6%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    1%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • I’m your new creative director

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    0%
  • Picture this FML

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  • I liked to the power of 20

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  • Judgmental

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    5%
  • Tell us what happened next

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    0%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    14%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    15%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    10%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Chloroformpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

By Mikabe - / Monday 14 February 2011 18:51 / Sweden

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

By TraumatizedMother - / Sunday 2 October 2011 07:27 / United States

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 20 September 2011 21:25 / Canada

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

By gir / Thursday 14 July 2011 19:35 / United States

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

By anonymous / Saturday 19 March 2011 10:32 / United Kingdom