Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ChloroformPanda

Search for a member

ChloroformPanda

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6652
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ChloroformPanda : They say that we're dreaming too big.
I say that this town is too small.

ChloroformPanda's page activity

Visits<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 3:03pm<b>legendofthegames</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Internetdude</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:15am<b>lnp</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>FloridaGirl23</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:31pm<b>MonkeyBurgerMan</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:45pm<b>waterski123</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 12:20am<b>Yanchi</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 4:22pm<b>McKenzieAlea</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 9:37am<b>iphonefive</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 11:23pm<b>Izacundo1</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:47pm<b>chamay</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 1:27am<b>kjoseph98</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 6:26pm<b>aimeegoldberg</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 5:10am<b>effyuuurlifee</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:48am<b>AdrastosArmor</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 9:24pm

ChloroformPanda's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ChloroformPanda's badges

ChloroformPanda's favorite FMLs

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59156) - you deserved it (6119) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

#14613102
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28839) - you deserved it (3330) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML

#14608701
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32761) - you deserved it (5720) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (8719)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML

#14282049
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28285) - you deserved it (6114)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:25am - health - by qwaynick -

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

#14277072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (3626)

On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29336) - you deserved it (8002)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (9571)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

#14050181
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40290) - you deserved it (3038)

On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

#14029442
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39171) - you deserved it (4896)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (5429)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34046) - you deserved it (4631)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany

Today, I was called 15 times by a "good redneck boy" that my Mom is trying to set me up with. He has called me at least 5 times a day for the past week. My Mom is still encouraging him to call. I had to unplug the phone because I feel stalked in my own dorm. FML

#13776562
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23329) - you deserved it (2396)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by snitcheyes (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (5293)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my family went to a football game. It was a little cold, but then it started to rain. I wasn't dressed for rain and I'd left my umbrella in the car. My dad wouldn't let us leave our seats for the whole game. FML

#13754254
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18565) - you deserved it (4594)

On 11/07/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by kaitlintaylor (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: