About ChloroformPanda : They say that we're dreaming too big.
I say that this town is too small.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50049) - you deserved it (5483)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37746) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)
Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16780) - you deserved it (37619)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)
Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47501) - you deserved it (10687)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by authentic (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22312) - you deserved it (7312)
On 02/15/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by loueb17 - United States (Arizona)
Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch the video I recorded of my sister's graduation from college. I never pressed record. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8344) - you deserved it (29651)
On 02/11/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by red button - United States (New York)
Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10081) - you deserved it (50170)
On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16494) - you deserved it (7480)
On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12226) - you deserved it (5313)
On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18528) - you deserved it (4951)
On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14768) - you deserved it (4476)
On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9391) - you deserved it (22927)
On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17798) - you deserved it (3968)
On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version
Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24659) - you deserved it (2201)
On 01/12/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by patty - Sent from mobile version
Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17960) - you deserved it (814)
On 01/07/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by KiloLima01 - Australia (Victoria)
Friday 24 May 2013
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