ChloroformPanda

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ChloroformPanda

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10723
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ChloroformPanda : They say that we're dreaming too big.
I say that this town is too small.

ChloroformPanda's page activity

Visits<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:31pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:35am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:00am<b>sparrowren</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:59pm<b>marcusaaaa</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:53pm<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 3:03pm<b>legendofthegames</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Internetdude</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:15am<b>lnp</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>FloridaGirl23</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:31pm<b>MonkeyBurgerMan</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:45pm<b>waterski123</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 12:20am<b>Yanchi</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 4:22pm<b>McKenzieAlea</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 9:37am<b>iphonefive</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 11:23pm<b>Izacundo1</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:47pm

ChloroformPanda's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ChloroformPanda's badges

ChloroformPanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

by Marian / 03/23/2009 at 3:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML

by elevator-troubles / 03/18/2009 at 3:59am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

by DSM / 03/14/2009 at 7:05am / United States (North Dakota) / Love

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 1:03am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML

by flaggurl / 03/09/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML

by laurenmay / 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

by Sara / 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

by Elis / 03/01/2009 at 3:49am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

by justanaccount / 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm / Spain (Madrid) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

by Noname / 02/25/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

by iliketurtles / 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

by catfish / 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML

by authentic / 02/18/2009 at 6:20pm / United States (Indiana) / Love