About ChloroformPanda : They say that we're dreaming too big.
I say that this town is too small.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52296) - you deserved it (11103)
On 05/07/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (102965)
On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel
Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32754) - you deserved it (7659)
On 05/05/2009 at 10:40pm - misc - by soldier (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50821) - you deserved it (21032)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69844) - you deserved it (6588)
On 05/01/2009 at 10:17am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55182) - you deserved it (4649)
On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62225) - you deserved it (11631)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80177) - you deserved it (19301)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)
Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40555) - you deserved it (7063)
On 04/25/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by plasticfantastic - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8584) - you deserved it (51962)
On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (75087)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64606) - you deserved it (3418)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40492) - you deserved it (7190)
On 04/18/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by Spec (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10156) - you deserved it (58463)
On 04/16/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by filipinoclari808 (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52702) - you deserved it (3416)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
