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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11562
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ChloroformPanda : They say that we're dreaming too big.
I say that this town is too small.

ChloroformPanda's page activity

Visits<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:31pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:35am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:00am<b>sparrowren</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:59pm<b>marcusaaaa</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:53pm<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 3:03pm<b>legendofthegames</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Internetdude</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:15am<b>lnp</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>FloridaGirl23</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:31pm<b>MonkeyBurgerMan</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:45pm<b>waterski123</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 12:20am<b>Yanchi</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 4:22pm<b>McKenzieAlea</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 9:37am<b>iphonefive</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 11:23pm<b>Izacundo1</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:47pm

ChloroformPanda's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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ChloroformPanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

by holly / 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint. She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12-inch ham sub. FML

by Richie / 05/20/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

by KarlwithaK / 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, a little girl came up to me and said "Hi, my name is Lindsey, lets be friends!". I thought she was cute so I played along and said "Okay! My name is Jen!" Her Reply: "Wait, nevermind, I don't want to be friends anymore. You smell funny." FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 12:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

by Wormy / 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 11:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

by MJ3105 / 05/07/2009 at 7:36am / Israel / Animals

Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML

by soldier / 05/05/2009 at 10:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

by Amey / 05/04/2009 at 5:09am / United States (Maryland) / Kids