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ChloroformPanda

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ChloroformPanda

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6325
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ChloroformPanda : They say that we're dreaming too big.
I say that this town is too small.

ChloroformPanda's page activity

Visits<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 3:03pm<b>legendofthegames</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Internetdude</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:15am<b>lnp</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>FloridaGirl23</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:31pm<b>MonkeyBurgerMan</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:45pm<b>waterski123</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 12:20am<b>Yanchi</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 4:22pm<b>McKenzieAlea</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 9:37am<b>iphonefive</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 11:23pm<b>Izacundo1</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:47pm<b>chamay</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 1:27am<b>kjoseph98</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 6:26pm<b>aimeegoldberg</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 5:10am<b>effyuuurlifee</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:48am<b>AdrastosArmor</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 9:24pm

ChloroformPanda's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ChloroformPanda's badges

ChloroformPanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30618) - you deserved it (11406)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

#14973308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36815) - you deserved it (4302)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (3490)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46811) - you deserved it (9271)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8123) - you deserved it (47223)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

#14955140
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24166) - you deserved it (4917)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33416) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML

#14952772
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9419) - you deserved it (51407)

On 02/12/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Hailey - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13851) - you deserved it (60481)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from my seminar tutor asking why I wasn't in class. I was sitting next to him. FML

#14924630
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (2527)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:48pm - misc - by JaneVI (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML

#14826763
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7130) - you deserved it (67412)

On 02/03/2011 at 1:53pm - work - by parker1993 (man) - United States

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

#14694705
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39268) - you deserved it (2714)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14557) - you deserved it (26621)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10053) - you deserved it (33415)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

#14618568
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25860) - you deserved it (6994)

On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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