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About ChloroformPanda : It's your God. They're your rules. *You* go to Hell.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16927) - you deserved it (2896)
On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9982) - you deserved it (1338)
On 07/23/2011 at 3:49am - love - by MaHalKiTa (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28626) - you deserved it (6338)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Ignored - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (24869)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:40am - love - by whyme - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27968) - you deserved it (2417)
On 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm - love - by steph2052 - United States (Washington)
Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19992) - you deserved it (1998)
On 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by amf (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18004) - you deserved it (2387)
On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9786) - you deserved it (41275)
On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, my mom informed me that she doesn't wash my clothes anymore. Instead, she sprays them with Febreze to "save money". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (5511)
On 05/01/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by dirtyclothess -
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36329) - you deserved it (4176)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend of two years told me I was being too obsessive. This is the guy who has gone through my phone two separate times and deleted all of my male contacts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29791) - you deserved it (6061)
On 04/18/2011 at 1:54pm - love - by alissa_roar - United States
Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31854) - you deserved it (5293)
On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44002) - you deserved it (6016)
On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37772) - you deserved it (6262)
On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15460) - you deserved it (66621)
On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States
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