ChivasFan

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ChivasFan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4154
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ChivasFan's page activity

Visits<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 6:51pm<b>si9303</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 2:56pm<b>Strikerr</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 7:49pm<b>MattRoseen</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 10:59pm<b>DGross</b> - the 03/01/2010 at 6:02pm<b>idkweird</b> - the 03/01/2010 at 5:54pm

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ChivasFan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

by Obee / 04/14/2009 at 10:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandex while doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML

by unitywoods / 03/27/2009 at 2:43pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2009 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

by SoggyPancakes / 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

by Not so quick getaway. / 02/28/2009 at 2:55am / United States (Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

by asdfghjkl_12 / 02/24/2009 at 11:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

by notsohappy / 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, at the end of a really long day my boyfriend was rubbing my back. I told him I appreciated how sensitive he was being. His response? "I was just trying to figure out how to unhook your bra." FML

by KS / 02/17/2009 at 3:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

by lunarboy / 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love