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Cenobyte

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Cenobyte

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 7251
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cenobyte's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Cenobyte's badges

Cenobyte's favorite FMLs

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11677) - you deserved it (76615)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

#17283766
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10308) - you deserved it (54685)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:15am - work - by Champion the wonder horse - United States

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41068) - you deserved it (5991)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

#17271800
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34221) - you deserved it (12737)

On 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by anon - Israel

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

#17221822
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10085) - you deserved it (80240)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40882) - you deserved it (11621)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42004) - you deserved it (5640)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39571) - you deserved it (5627)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

#17150480
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19190) - you deserved it (37371)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by CaoiiBieber - Ireland

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38421) - you deserved it (8039)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

#17140359
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36329) - you deserved it (2679)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm - health - by imobesejk (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

#17102276
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26478) - you deserved it (2203)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by BelleCharmante (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
524 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146505) - you deserved it (8359)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
530 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (55643)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41827) - you deserved it (23296)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

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