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Cenobyte

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Cenobyte

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  • Number of visits : 7240
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Cenobyte's favorite FMLs

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38873) - you deserved it (15029)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29971) - you deserved it (3630) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37155) - you deserved it (4150)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

#18811404
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (7386)

On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

#18792975
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26023) - you deserved it (4097)

On 01/13/2012 at 2:48am - health - by shellie - Reserved

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56167) - you deserved it (4812)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41289) - you deserved it (5354) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

#18705552
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48456) - you deserved it (4564)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35274) - you deserved it (29577)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35274) - you deserved it (29577)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18797) - you deserved it (53630)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15731) - you deserved it (29355)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "babe." FML

#18508459
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15100) - you deserved it (32386)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:18am - work - by Shelly - United States (California)

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

#18501899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29418) - you deserved it (2241)

On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

#18417580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36922) - you deserved it (3203)

On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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