Cenobyte

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Offline (the 12/02/2016 at 12:09pm)

Cenobyte

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8604
  • Number of comments : 186
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cenobyte's page activity

Visits<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 11/05/2016 at 10:54am<b>Mons</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:17pm<b>Nick_Pat91</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 8:33am<b>iamscott</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 2:37am<b>kintoki25</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 4:51pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 1:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 10:40am<b>barfingcat21</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 4:40pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 1:18am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 7:04am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 3:27am<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 9:07pm<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 9:06pm<b>BloodCactus</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:55pm<b>Kevin55</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 10:14am<b>fastman19</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:30pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:30am

Fucked!<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 2:04am<b>fastman19</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 1:54pm

Cenobyte's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Cenobyte's badges

Cenobyte's favorite FMLs

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

by gemma / 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

by mcase / 07/31/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

by Jarman / 07/26/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

by Unlucky / 07/25/2012 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

by bad date / 06/13/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Nebraska) / Money

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

by NoPrivacy / 04/26/2012 at 6:44am / United States / Work

Today, I realized just how awful my relationships have been when I discovered I emotionally connect with women on Jerry Springer. FML

by Coquette / 04/22/2012 at 2:14pm / United States / Love

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

by joolsie / 04/13/2012 at 9:11am / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy