Cenobyte

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Offline (the 04/26/2016 at 1:20pm)

Cenobyte

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7496
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cenobyte's page activity

Visits<b>Kevin55</b> - yesterday at 10:14am<b>fastman19</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:30pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:30am<b>zssw</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:33pm<b>Minnieal28</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:44pm<b>azzholio</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 1:30pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:12am<b>Jamer99</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 9:04am<b>Leftwise</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:47am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:39am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 7:51am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 7:08am<b>pks2014</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 4:25am<b>jimmyneal1122</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:25am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:06am<b>zainman13</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:41am<b>thebigsexy315</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 2:49am<b>austinsixx1994</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 2:58pm

Fucked!<b>fastman19</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 1:54pm

Cenobyte's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Cenobyte's badges

Cenobyte's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

by nickw177 / 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm / United States / Love

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

by brianfantana32 / 09/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

by gemma / 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

by mcase / 07/31/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

by Jarman / 07/26/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

by Unlucky / 07/25/2012 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

by bad date / 06/13/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Nebraska) / Money

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy