Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cenobyte

Search for a member

Cenobyte

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4500
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Cenobyte's page activity

Visits<b>richardcard82</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:37am<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:38am<b>sherbear78</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:04pm<b>db32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:04am<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 7:50am<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:21pm<b>adragonhunter</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:55pm<b>micahthebeast10</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:43pm<b>xoxocochrach96</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:55am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 7:52am<b>its_nick_bros</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:47pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 6:02pm<b>angelicdevil</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:28am<b>s1s1</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:10pm<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:47am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 2:44am<b>bazookajoey</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 8:19pm<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:27am

Cenobyte's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Cenobyte's badges

Cenobyte's favorite FMLs

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32542) - you deserved it (6549)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

#20067540
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12923) - you deserved it (52790)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by gemma - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35707) - you deserved it (10414) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25672) - you deserved it (4267)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you deserved it (5154)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38226) - you deserved it (8181)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

#19983177
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (3045)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37194) - you deserved it (4001)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

#19779965
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (3213)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:42am - money - by bad date - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47169) - you deserved it (4370)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (1915)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

#19555770
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25246) - you deserved it (3700)

On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7193) - you deserved it (29748)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: