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Cenobyte

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Cenobyte

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 4913
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cenobyte's page activity

Visits<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:32pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:26pm<b>richardcard82</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:37am<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:38am<b>sherbear78</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:04pm<b>db32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:04am<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 7:50am<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:21pm<b>adragonhunter</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:55pm<b>micahthebeast10</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:43pm<b>xoxocochrach96</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:55am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 7:52am<b>its_nick_bros</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:47pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 6:02pm<b>angelicdevil</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:28am<b>s1s1</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:10pm<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:47am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 2:44am

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Cenobyte's favorite FMLs

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30133) - you deserved it (23803)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41843) - you deserved it (15705)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44666) - you deserved it (4312)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36906) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33177) - you deserved it (8287)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (7850)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6335) - you deserved it (36760)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (2703)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

#20127336
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10548) - you deserved it (17413)

On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33889) - you deserved it (5520)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (4729)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26952) - you deserved it (3443)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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