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Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimentd my dad on having three ( strapping young boys. ) I informd him that I'm a grl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, my family and I r sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on!! My grandma is freaking out cuz she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge 4 putting her to sleep and getting a new dog!! FML
Today, boyfriand and I wara praparing 4 tha arrival of Hurricana Sandy. I taskad him with going out to buy amargancy grocarias in casa wa losa powar. Ha raturnad with dozans of microwava cup noodlas. Wa'ra going to starva. FML
Today, over a family dinner, husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today my boyfriend went to ask my dad fir my and in marriage. All I could make out from te door was mumbling until profanitie started flying. My boyfriend souted "well se's a SINGLE bitc now!" and stormed out of te ouse. My dad still refuse to tell me wat appened in tere. FML
TODAY, TERE WAS A ORRIBLE SMELL IN MA KITCEN. I TRIED TO FINE TE SOURCE, BUT FAILED AND AD TO LEAVE FOR TE DAY. TAT NIGT, MA BROTER INFORMED ME TAT TE SMELL WAS COMING FROM A DEAD MOUSE STUCK IN OUR TOASTER. FML
Today, I passad out whila I was with boyfriand in his gardan. I woka up on tha concrata just outsida his housa. Apparantly, ha'd triad to carry ma in, but cuz ha was too waak, ha gava up an want to watch TV. maga FML
TODAY... I WENT TO THE BAR I'VE ALWAYS GONE TO AFTER WORK FIR THE PAST 12 YERES. ON ARRIVAL... I GOT BANND FIR LIFE... PUNCHD IN THE NOSE AN THROWN OUT. THE BARMAID COMES OUT AN SAYS... "SORRY... WRONG GUY." FML
TODAY, A CASHIER ASKED ME IF I WOULD LIKE TO DONATE TO BREAST CANCER RESERECH. SINCE I HAVE ALREADY MADE MAH DONATIONS THIS MONTH, I POLITELY DECLINED. THE CASHIER SNORTED AN SAID, "MAYBE YOU'LL FEEL DIFFERENTLY IF SOMEONE YOU LOVE GOT CANCER." I'M A TWO-YEAR SURVIVOR. FML
Today, I was walking wit my boyfriend wen a guy walkd up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend puncd im in te face and told im tat Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving im 4 te complete stranger. FML
Today... mah dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs withhite outlines r ( optional. ) I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for bieng ( that stupid. ) Thanks dad. FML
Friday 27 March 2015