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Carrikins's favorite FMLs
Today, I was once again passed over for a promotion. I'm now the assistant to a kid who has failed to meet almost every single responsibility he's been given before. It's my job to make sure he's successful, and if he isn't, I'll lose my job. FML
by wenchfucker / 06/18/2012 at 3:49pm / France (Lorraine) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing, I got woozy, started blacking out, and hit my head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with my pants down. FML
by nerdsgetmehot / 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
by Myriam / 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm / Maldives (Maale) / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
by DwarfFrog / 06/18/2012 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at work when a co-worker decided it would be funny to email me from my boss's computer to tell me I had been laid off. It wasn't funny when I was fired for real after "skipping work without giving notice." FML
by Adam Jensen / 06/18/2012 at 12:39am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I found out that the only reason why I haven't had a relationship last for more than a week the past 4 years is because of my stalker ex-girlfriend, who has been keeping other women out of my life by making up horrible stories about me. She broke up with me 5 years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love
by turnedoff / 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/17/2012 at 4:50am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Work
Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML
by historyfreak_17 / 06/17/2012 at 3:11am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Mega_bug / 06/16/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by mystery / 06/16/2012 at 10:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by anonymous / 06/16/2012 at 9:57am / United States / Love
by sadphonegirl / 06/16/2012 at 9:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous