Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Carrikins

Search for a member

Carrikins

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7522
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Carrikins's page activity

Visits<b>krupa1017</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:57pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:48pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:42am<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:56pm<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:50pm<b>mpkpm</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:07pm<b>Qele</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:34pm<b>icebreaker012</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 11:10am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:50am<b>Bentonic</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:31am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 7:07am<b>adyb</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 1:01am<b>lingo171</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 9:26pm<b>Swiko</b> - the 05/05/2012 at 4:05pm

Carrikins's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Carrikins's badges

Carrikins's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you deserved it (2636)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25669) - you deserved it (4267)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

#19993573
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13949) - you deserved it (37107)

On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

#19992100
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8997) - you deserved it (22421)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by fmlgrl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

#19991998
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24309) - you deserved it (5710)

On 07/30/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by skyplaysguitar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34404) - you deserved it (3000)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

#19865119
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (4220)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15123) - you deserved it (27052)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8917) - you deserved it (26110) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

#19860817
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (3081)

On 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by daniella101 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had an hour long meeting with my manager where she informed me the reason I had not been promoted is because she felt that people would not like to work for me, because I would, "make them do their job." FML

#19811134
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (1687)

On 06/19/2012 at 3:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally turned 21 so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I decided to order a drink. She replied with, "No problem, kiddo." FML

#19810432
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (6073)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:28am - misc - by DerrickUhl - United States (California)

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42867) - you deserved it (3921)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

#19810055
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18911) - you deserved it (1761)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm - misc - by ducklover1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: